Bàuks™: The height of elegance, luxury, elegant luxuriousness and stylish functionality.

Posted by travis on August 9, 2010 · 2 Comments 

Are you looking to give that special someone, something special. Be it grandaunt, stop sign attendant, sex partner or neighbourhood transient, this is the perfect gift to show you care.

It’s genuine ‘mohaugany’ inlay will impress even the choosiest connoisseur. And with customizable word graphics, you can finally say that special message you have been meaning to tell that special person, but needed to carve into wood first.

It’s sturdy construction means this special gift will last a lifetime. Hand joined without the use of annoying ‘bevels’, this box shows you truly care for either your cat groomer or casual sexual bedroom antics attendee.

Luxury and elegance will spring to mind the minute you present this stylish and functional gift. This precious gem of elegant luxury allows for easy access through it’s stylishly designed ‘Tôp Hole™’.

These decorative accents are both functional and stylish as well as stylishly functional. The German engineered liquid evacuation vessels allow for your liquids to be stylishly and elegantly evacuated from the Bàucks System™.

With minimal, yet considerable assembly, you too can have a home  Bàucks System™. This lifestyle accessory will surpass all your carnal, human and robo-human desires. A wonderful piece of home, garden, or home gym decor like this will be cherished long after the moment it is given.

Bàucks System™ system simply requires you to follow these simple steps: buy the Bàucks System™, fill with elegant Corinthian dirt, add luxurious Uzbek agua, find plants, measure the distance between the plants, calculate the maximum solar coverage and based on those algorithms estimate perfect planting locations, add plants based on geological soil samples, place in the room of you favourite elderly person or college student or single mother and enjoy. It’s that easy.

• Designed in the USA
• Made in the People’s Democratic Republic of North Korea
• Durable construction
• Independent, laboratory tested
• Comes with non-refundable guarantee of ownership, good for a lifetime

Filed under Lovin Feelin', Mad Science, Mass and Light, Projects, Uncategorized · Tagged with box, fiesta farms, home shopping channel, organic plants, planter box, satire, vaneska, wine